Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Life is Insane. Just sayin....

I know some of you are with me on this. Do you ever feel like you life is a whirlwind of craziness and that you are just getting through this "stage" and eventually it will slow down? And really, we KNOW it isn't going to slow down for a long, long time...it is most likely going to continue to accelerate at a rapid pace. I have to tell my self white lies that my life has blissful calmness sailing it's way or else I think that I might not ever be able to get up out of bed in the morning to tackle my list of 400 things to do.

For the past 3 months (I still can't believe that it is already March) I  have been out of town almost every. single. week. trying to keep up on work projects that are pouring (or should I say hailing) down like a Texas thunderstorm. All of these new "meaningful use" requirements from the government have oncology clinics in a frenzy to adopt a certified electronic medical record system. While I am not a fan of most of the healthcare changes taking place...I can actually say that this one has benefited me :) I was promoted to an account manager earlier this year and it has given me a sense of job security like never before. And you know what job security actually means: A LOT of work. And on top of that, planning a wedding could pretty much be considered a full time job. This year is going to be insanely busy, fly buy, but has potential to be one of the best years of my life....if I can get thru it!

What I have come to realize in the past few weeks is in order to stay relaxed and enjoy a life that spins thru your day like a tornado on crack is to slow down. Doesn't make sense when you say it, but it's true. As most of you know, I love St. Therese of Lisieux. Her whole autobiography, "Story of a Soul" will change your life. I need to read it again just to refocus. One of the things I have always struggled with is being perfect. HA. I know. But I want to be the BEST at everything I do in life. THE best account manager, THE best fiance, THE best sister, THE best daughter, THE best friend, THE best (fill in the blank). But what happens when I concentrate on becoming the best at everything is I rely only on myself to get to the top. As I try to worry only about myself being better than anyone else, my thoughts, priorities, and concerns for God, friends, family, etc. diminish. And eventually I realize I can't be THE best at everything, and then it is a let down when I feel like I failed. 

My absolute favorite quotes from St. Therese is this, "If every little flower wished to be a Rose, Nature would lose Her spring adornments and the fields would not longer be enameled with their varied beauty." Every time I read it or meditate on that quote I get a sense of peace. There also is something else that says, "A Rose doesn't take away the whiteness of the Lily or the simple beauty of a violet" (can't remember the exact quote) Long story short, I can't compare who God created me to be to others and what they are doing. Does that mean I shouldn't try my hardest...of course not. But I have to slow down and enjoy that I am exactly and doing exactly what God wants me to be doing. I can't get worked up over everything and not enjoy where I am right now in my life. What I should be doing when trying to achieve a goal is asking myself "Am I praying as if everything depended on God? Am I working toward my goal as if everything depended on me?" (St. Augustine's genius) Because if I am doing the latter without the first, I am going no where and am setting myself up for failure. 

So, this lent I am trying to work on my prayer life and not just keeping it as a separate "relationship", but incorporating my relationship with God into my everyday life to help me slow down and enjoy this day in my life that I will never get back. So, onto the challenges of the day....

:) p.s. I have posted some pictures of weird, not normal, but still absolutely incredible, beautiful flowers. 

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